stuck in the middle

The past week and a half have been hell. I kinda spread myself too thin with the whole Bamboozle thing and it turned out that two of my hardest finals were on Monday. I also had to volunteer Monday morning from 8-12 in order to get all 20 of my hours in before the end of the semester. As soon as I was done volunteering I had to take my Shakespeare final and then immediately after it my Theology final. I survived!! I was pretty lost on the Shakespeare final but the Theology one wasn't too too bad so hopefully I got Bs or Cs. Did I mention I did all of this on like two hours of sleep? On top of that my allergies turned into some sort of evil monster deathly sickness over the weekend, probably due to the fact that I touched about 500 different people and exchanged sweat and other bodily fluids with them. Anyway, after finals on Monday I came home and slept for a little, which didn't help my sickness AT ALL, and then I went into work at fucking seven for noooo reason. Whatever. I chatted briefly with "someone" before they left. Then it was just Monica and I and I was practically dying so she went me home early. I had a temperature, aw poor me.

On Tuesday I was feeling a little better so I went and chatted with my Philosophy teacher about my paper and life and etc haha. I came home and because I am a loser I decided to out driving with Lindsay and I think somehow we ended up in the general New Holland area? Interesting, haha. I was feeling better but then I like crashed and died when I got home. I went to the doctor and my temperature was 103!!! So basically she put me on all these meds and it sucked. I also had to write my Ethics paper, my laaaaast assignment of the semester. I ended up sleeping forever and not even starting it until 6am the day it was due...at NOON. So I finally finished it and I did a pretty good job writing it except that I didn't use citations throughout the paper, ughhh. Lindsay drove me to school, due to me being dizzy and non-breathing and I turned it in and my professor was extremeeeeeely nice and said he would overlook the citation thing. So yeah when I realized I was finally finally finally done with this semester I came home and collapsed. Basically Wednesday - Saturday was me sleeping/watching tv/eating sherbert and being depressed. Also, my birthday was Friday, "whoo hoo".

On Saturday I got super excited because Lindsay and I were supposed to go and visit "Monica" at Subway but then things got retarded and there was major miscommunication so we ended up not going, cry cry cry. Sunday was more sleep/sickness. MONDAY I finally got to escape my house. My parents went to Philly on their usual outing and I decided to go. We got yummy pretzels and we also visited my brother at work where he made me one of his famous vanilla milkshakes, yummmmy. We saw hilarious things outside my brother's work too like fake construction workers and homeless people and ahhh it was really funny. We went to South St of course and I got some CDs yay. After I got home Lindsay and I took a little drive and listened to fabulous music and got good cheesecake/coffee at this place near Hershey, yay. My first day back in the real world!!

On Tuesday Lindsay and I went to B&N to find a job for myself but I never even asked about a job. Instead we read our little books about relationships and depression haha. After that I did NOTHING!!!! I went to bed at 6pm and didn't wake up until 8am yesterday morning, WOW. I wasnn't even tired, I just had nothing better to do. Yesterday I went to the bank and the P.O. for my mommy and then I went to see my daddy at work since there was nada to do. Then I drove around like all over listening to music and being bored and lonely. Later I called Rachel and instead of "youth group" they were going golfing at this chip and put place near Rachel's house so I went too. Rachel and I had tied scores! Overall it was fun and it was good to actually do something besides driving around which can get boring sometimes. Definitely have to go mini golfing this summer.

That brings us up to today which has been boring boring boring so far. I've been up since 8am, which I have been practically everyday this week, ew. I'm itching to do SOMETHING, even if it means going back to work. I kinda wanna call my boss and go back tonight but I don't think I should because I'm still coughing a lot and I shouldn't really be making Suckway sandwiches and coughing in them haha.

Ummm let's see what else can I can talk about?? Oohhh boys. Ok so there is the old boy who is now my "friend" as we've known for awhile now. I'm fine with that, I really am, except for the fact that there is something not right with the whole thing. Like I hadn't talked to him in person forEVER and only occasionally on the internet and then all of a sudden he's like "We should hang out more etc etc" and I'm thinking more than WHAT!?!?!? So then I told him whenever he's bored he can call or whatever and he claims I never said that before. Either he really does have a bad memory, is retarded, or was intoxicated somehow...for a whole week. Then I see him at school and he comes up to Lindsay and I and starts chatting away about how we haven't talked in forever and blah blah. Whatever...I think I acted pretty normal. Then I talk to him online again and he's like whining "We are friends who never see each other and blah blah blah". What the fuck?!? I don't even know what's wrong with him. This is like the last week of school. School ends, haven't talked to him since. I don't get it...ahhh frustration. I'm fine with being friends and hanging out, but as far as I know he has a girlfriend now, who he told me is his FRIEND, whatever. If he wants to hang out and be the best of friends I'm here with nothing to do. Either way I don't care. I know I shouldn't even care that much but it just bothers me when someone says they want to be friends and then make no real effort. When someone is my friend I consider them pretty close to me and important in my life so I can't exactly call him and I friends in my terms can I?

The OTHER boy is still around I suppose...I haven't seen him in forever which is also frustrating. When I do talk to him it's really good and I think we get along really well but then there are like MOOD SWINGS...I don't know if it's me or him. And then Monica tells me that he apparently said if someone likes him he would want that person to tell him, not other people. Ahhh no! I don't understand anything...I need more time to talk to him to see what's going on but it looks like that will never ever ever happen.

In other news SCHOOL IS OVER!!!! I got my grades, which I feared majorly that my GPA would drop and I'd become a college drop out, but I did amazingly well and I even did better than last semester. I say this EVERY year but I am really gonna try to do way better because if I tried really hard I could probably get all As, maybe.

So right now I'm on the verge of death due to extreme boredom. It's like insane...the worst ever. I hate watching tv, I've listened to all music imaginable, I've watched every movie, there is no where to go, all my friends are missing, no one cares, I can't go to work because I'm still "sick", and ughhhh I don't know what to do with myself. I've already cleaned everything I can clean. I'm DYING. Save me please.

The End.

P.S. I realized today I can't even remember the date of my high school graduation. I haven't decided if that is good or bad.