sitting all alone inside your head

Sooo not that I believe in this kinda stuff (because I don't think that everything is predetermined), BUT I sometimes read my little horoscope for fun/boredom since there's always a litle ad on Myspace. Anyway, I read it today because it's Friday the 13th and I'm half expecting it to say "Today will be the worst day of your life and horrible things will happen to you". But it doesn't. Instead it says that although I hate uncertainty (which is absolutely true about me), I should just stop trying to "find my way" and relax. Next, I check another little website which is the one that I usually check and that one says that today I shouldn't take any action. I should just let things happen to me because everything will fall into place much better if I stop forcing things to happen.

To me, this is both a comforting thought and a scary one. At first it sounds like good advice for anyone. Stop pushing and just let life happen. But this means that I'm giving control to something else i.e. fate/destiny/some higher being and I absolutely cannot do that because I don't believe in those things. This is just making me wonder if I'm not walking around thinking that I'm absolutey in control of my life when I'm really not.

I don't know, I'm still leaning towards the idea that people's actions make things happen, but then again there are those psychos out there (like the man that did the Amish shooting) that say that they apparently can't control their actions and that something is telling them to behave a certain way. So if that's true, then something IS telling them to do bad things, which in turn makes it bad for everyone else. It's out of our control and it's not because of another person's choices, persay, but by something above them that tells them what to do. But again on the other hand, being a psych major and learning about mental disorders all the time, these people that are labeled "crazy" probably have a chemical imbalance or some sort of personality disorder so that there isn't really someone telling them to act a certain way, it's their own brain malfunctioning. But that's not really a choice...hmmm. It's genetics. Nature. They didn't CHOOSE to be that way, but they ARE acting a certain way and kind of making decisions. Maybe.

I guess I still don't believe that something higher than me controls my life (except the actions of others, which probably isn't higher than me...wow I'm a bitch) BUT perhaps just for today, since it is Friday the 13th and everything and I'm slightly superstitious (which probably contradicts this entire thing), I'll just GO WITH THE FLOW for once. I'll just let it all happen to me and I won't pursue anything or take action but just be relaxed and open to whatever comes my way.

P.S. So yeahh this was supposed to be a quick fun entry about horoscopes and I definitely went a little off the deep end, LO SIENTO.