Sooo, it's been a long fucking time and there is a lot to say. I don't think I've ever let this go for so long but I really haven't had the time to sit and type an amazingly long thing. Basically, it's extremely early Saturday morning (1:34 AM) when I'm starting this and I'm highly caffienated so bear with me. I'm not going day by day...that would be nuts so I guess week by week? Event by event? Non-even is more like it. Whatever, just read bitches.
Sooo I think when I last wrote it was the end of August and school was about to start. I was at a low point in my "job" and was considering quitting. My brother had also just came to live with us and it was pretty fun. Well guess what, things have changed...for better and for worse. Looking back in my little schedule/"date" book the rest of that week aka the week before my sophomore year of lovely college started, I worked a lot and that's about it. I believe this is also the weekend when my incredibly intelligent brother ended up in JAIL, what a d-bag, seriously.
So let's just get on with it and talk about school since it's probably where the most interesting things/people happen. Uhhh I'm still volunteering @ ECH (aka viewing the hospital guy's lovely face) so I went there Monday morning and then CLASSES :)/:(
I'm taking an animal ethics class which is pretty damn cool. I've had the teacher for each and every semester so far and although many people dislike him, I respect him for being incredibly intelligent and knowledgable about many things that I wish I was knowledgable about. I think I've learned more about life in general in his classes than any of my other ones and everything I learn in there makes me THINK. This is probably because they are PHILOSOPHY classes. The group in that class is great as well. It's an honors class so there are no dumbasses who can't spell the word "philosophy" and who actually discuss/debate and have fun with it. Cool kids I suppose. I still don't talk, but I quietly observe as usual.
After that class I have a 2.5 hour break and for the first hour I usually go to the gay library and read/type/myspace/chat with weird kids until Lindsay is done an hour later. Lunch, fun times, laughing, etc. Then I have a short novel class...wtf. Sooo it's basically all of the girls in my freshman seminar class (all 6 of them or whatever) and I'm careful to say GIRL because there are literally only two males in this class (what a shame). The one male who happens to sit beside me is the only reason why I actually attend this class. He wears the wonderfully delicious smelling shit from Abercrombie or whatever and actually seems to have a sense of humor since he laughs at the same time that I do when the teacher makes a joke (that no one else usually understands). This class started out being really boring and pointless to me, but the stories we are reading are getting better and the teacher is insanely smart and just a cute old man who loves literature. After this class I'm done for the day and I either go home and "do homework" aka sleep, or stay up @ AC with Lindsay and do something retarded like driving around or going out to eat (too much).
Tuesdays and Thursdays are usually exactly the same, except for when I don't have to work. I wake up, meet Lindsay @ her room and go to the most useless class of my life. This "class" is entitled Human Development and as much as the title sounds somewhat interesting and intense (depending on how you look at it), it is NOT. The teacher is some fabulous young male and that was supposed to be good looking and is indeed NOT. He is also NOT young and definitely NOT fabulous. He's older than expected, wears horrible patterned silk shirts unbuttoned to show disgusting chest hair, and talks reeeeeeaaaaaalllllllyyyyy slow so that Lindsay and I feel like college students in an elementary school class. The rest of the kids are ed majors who "have" to take the class for their major while Lindsay and I are PSYCHOLOGY majors and would like to actually learn but this is NOT the case. The class is one big NOT, blahhh. We go in at 11, take about 15 minutes to get started, get a handout about the chapter that is disorganized and out of order, take another ten minutes to re-order and re-staple the pages, hear long stories/examples "related" to the notes that make no sense, sit in silence while he thinks of something to "teach" us, and then we leave like 20 minutes early everyday. This would probably be looked upon by a normal college student as a great class but the thing is, the book cost a whopping $120 and I haven't even touched it. It is pointless to read the chapter because all of our tests come from the notes he hands out. Nada from the book. So far we haven't had any other assignments beside studying for the test, but just on Thursday he gave us some random "essay" (400 words only) about violence in schools, editorial style. So basically he wants us to give him our opinion on the subject. How does this relate to human development exactly? I mean, it does but I could probably write an entire research paper about it. UGHHH frustration.
So after this "class" Lindsay and I got to our Music and Health class which is turning out wonderful as well. Right from the first day I liked the teacher and I have great respect for her because she is devoted to her profession, which involves helping disabled children and such and it's good. I probably sound like a huge dork, but she seems really smart and gives us tons of examples and real-life stories related to what we need to learn and it's really interesting. I like going just to hear her stories about what does everyday and it's related to psychology a lot so I guess it kinda makes up for the non-learning that occurs in my other class.
Wednesdays are the exact same as Monday except I have a night class (Educational Psych) which isn't too bad. The class is HUGE and also filled with ed majors BUT it's a good bunch and everyone makes it funny. Plus, the teacher is actually a school psychology/guidance counselor type so it's also interesting to hear his stories since that's one of the things I'm thinking of doing. This class is just good and I'm glad it doesn't suck because almost 3 hours would be a long time to be trapped in a room of death. Not many boys here either (except one). The end (of Wednesday).
Soo the rest of the week is just repeats of the other classes. Overall, I'm really happy with the classes I chose, even human development. I'll just look at it as an easy A and keep the book for future psychological information that I might need. Oh, and we're doing a "group" project in that class as well and so far the past few weeks, our group hasn't had one meeting in which all 5 of us were present. Also there's a boyyy in my group that is very nice :) And it just so happens that on Thursday everyone was "absent" except for myself and this boy. He's nice. Yep. Oh, and did I mention I haven't skipped ANY classes this year so far. I'm awesome.
As far as my "social life" it has mostly consisted of working but it's getting a tad better. I did get the raise I was promised and it's making a huge difference in my bank account. Hmmm I'm still working with Monica every single Tuesday and opening (which I hate with a passion) every Sunday, but the rest of my week changes all the time, blahh. I love Suckway just a little more since the raise, but lately I've been overworked. Thank God this week Philly (my fab boss) gave me a small break, yay!
Soooo other than work I pretty much hang out with Lindsay 24/7 up at school and when I'm home I hang out with Chelsie (TH allll the way) and Monica when we're not working together. I still have no friends at school but I did stay over twice so far and the one night we hung out with a few girls in Lindsay's hallway and watched some dumb movie about gymnastics?? Wow, that sounds really gay. Uhhh I don't know, I talk to people occasionally and they talk to me but nothing more.
I think the rest of this is going to me finding/remembering interesting things that happened and writing about them.
Uhhh so my brother kinda sucks. He definitely lies constantly, which I cannot stand. I'm seriously going to have major trust issues the rest of my life due to everyone always lying to me. More recently, he's been a huge dick and hypocrite who says he's soooo bored all the time and wants to hang out with me and my friends, but when he comes with us all he does is bitch and complain that we're dumb and boring. WHATEVER...I'm just kinda sick of him and I hope he starts saving some fucking money real soon and gets his own place to live. I'm just sick of everything related to him. It's too much of a change in my small little life I guess.
On a lighter note, guessssss what! I went to Dorney Park (shortened to DP on 9/10) and rode two roller coasters + other rides. It was fuuuun but I got a huge ass headache and felt sick/deathly all day and basically sucked at life. It was still fun though, don't get me wrong. I FINALLY got to meet the wonderful cousin of Dave's that I had heard soooo much about named Kyle who I lovingly nicknamed Gothic Kyle or GK (not to his face, of course). Also his brother Cody (dumb name). Lindsay and I got along with the boys famously and had a good time. For some reason, unlike school, I was completely normal and I talked and it was great. We made friends! Too bad GK is only 16. Ooohh he kinda looked like Gerard (HAIRRRR) and ahhh. I have bad taste.
So basically all I've done the past month is go to volunteering and school and when that's over I do homework for school, work, or visit work because there is nothing better to do. My friends and I haven't even driven around due to a lack of interest. The Denver fair happened as well as the Ephrata fair and yeahhh what a dissappointment in life. It's a bunch of high schoolers running around pretending they're 30 and then people who are actually 30 running around with their husbands or wives (who they probably hate) chasing after their little kids (who they probably wish they didn't have when they go to the fair and see the teenagers running around pretending they're 30). I hope that made sense.
OH one weekend my parents decided to go to Wildwood for the evening and I got my eyebrow pierced. Random and weird but I guess I like it for now. I just get bored and do random things. I need a change of pace so I'm doing September in a day by day fashion since it's only like the 6th or something.
October 1, 2006 - This was last Sunday. I opened at Suckway in WM and died due to only having one person to boss around who doesn't do anything anyway. Phyllis, of course, came in and yelled that the place was a mess. What the fuck, I told her a zillion times that I cannot handle opening and I suck at life and no one takes me seriously. I hate opening. Hate hate hate hate hate. When 4:00 rolls around and I'm supposed to be able to leave and there are tons of things to do I get pissed the fuck off because I end up staying until almost 5 doing everyone else's fucking work. P.S. This is the only part of my job that I love to complain about. Eww that night I also had to drive allllll the way up to glorious AC to photocopy $4 worth of papers for my animals class. The library man was mean to me too and he said "alrighty" which is the word I use when I'm talking to adults I want to impress.
October 2, 2006 - Monday was a good day overall I suppose. Classes were good, learning occurred. Afterwards Lindsay made me stay @ AC and we studied for our human development test (AHAHAHAH). In between we went to get food at a really disgusting restaurant and gagged. LOOOOONG story, let's not get into it k? More studying, Sex and the City (as usual), home bed sleep.
October 3, 2006 - Oohhhh the big H.D. test = bullshit. It only took us like 10 mins so we left gay school and got coffee or food or something and drove and talked. I also worked with Mon and we also chatted for like dos hours after work about life.
October 4, 2006 - Classes = good + learning. Uhhh definitely got 108% on my educational psych test due to everyone being dumbasses and forcing him to add 21 percentage points to all the tests so the dumbest person can pass, hahaha. Wow, I'm a bitch. Ohhh this night Lindsay and I decided to be real smart and drive around in the RAIN while leave are falling so we can skid off the road and die. We even went to WM for meatballs and coffee. Then I stayed over @ school because I was too tired to drive from my house to AC and then right back again, blahh.
October, 2006 (yesterday) - I had "class" and stuff then my mom had a gay home interior thing @ night with her little friends. I played a game which involved answering questions family feud style about home interior (I know nothing) and I did better than anybody else there and won candles. Highlight of my night was eating large quantities of chocolate and then sleeping for about 10 hours (no school today).
TODAY...slept in then lazied around the house (made up a word, that's riiiight). Eventually my mother and I got ready to go "shopping" in which I purchases a few items such as much needed jeans, a skirt for the upcoming "reunion", and 2 t-shirts (black of course). When I got home I had to go to Matthew's house immediately and meet him and Chelsie for the NH fair. It was fun, I saw gay WM workers that I definitely didn't want to see, ewww. Chelso and Mattie rode dos rides and then we left due to freezation. We took a drive to Pennhurst but couldn't see anything. Wow, I thought I was easily scared but I think Matt was more scared than Chelsie and I. Limerick aka Cancerville was located slightly North of where we were so we had nothing better to do than drive and try to get as close as possible. Matthew was fascinated and Chelsie and I discussed nuclear power plants and their harmfulness to humans living in close proximity. I laughed at all the little children who will be born with deformities and such if it ever explodes. Again, I am a heartless bitch. HAHA. Next we came to my house to pick up a movie and then drove back to Matt's house to watch it. BUT FIRST did you know you can go to the Starb(f)ucks that is at the rest stop on the TP without actually going on the TP, shockerrrr. Anyway, we went. Of course our luck, 4 wonderful Cocalico High School Class of 2005 graduates (my absolute faves...eye roll) were sitting in there sipping lattes and chatting about college (!!!!!!awesome!!!!!!). As a side note...
Cocalio High School Class of 05 Grads I Saw In Total On Friday, October 6, 2006:
1) Kim Harman - friend from 7th grade who chatted outside of Suckway while getting my paycheck
2) Preggo girl hugging...
3) Kristen Grahamcracker or something outside the bank and screaming and screeching about not seeing each other in forever due to HAVING A BABY
4) Amanda/Ashley Mo(r)e(drugs please) or something inside the bank
5) Smart girl #1 (as Chelsie called them, smart popular girls from high school)
6) Smart girl #2
7) Smart girl #3
8) Random boy who we didn't see the face of but was dressed like a hick but probably goes to college in some city where everyone thinks he is awesome , oh the irony
End of side note. We watched the movie and here I sit, one hour later than I started, exhausted with a headache (everydayyyy now). In closing, some things that I have been thinking about.
1) Does everything happen for a reason??? My opinion is that NO it does not, absolutely NOT. Maybe it's because I'm too pessimistic, cynical, rational, non-religious or whatever to believe in something like "fate" or "destiny" but I see life as making decisions that affect things. Some things you can't control, and this is due to other's decisions. To me it is as simple as that.
2) Stupidity. What is wrong with some people? Going along with the whole decision making thing, why do people think they can do whatever they want with no consequences?? If something is making you THAT unhappy, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT and change it. People need to start THINKING about things. And yes I know that I am labeled an over-analyzer/worrier but seriously, isn't this better than being impulsive and not thinking before acting?? Whatever you decide to do impacts everything that happens after a certain event so choose carefully, and if you realize you made a mistake, learn from it and do something to fix it or change it. It's not as simple as, OOPS I'm stupid and made a dumb mistake (because that happens to everyone), but do not continue to be retarded and stupid about it but GET WITH THE FUCKING PROGRAM and realize what the right thing to do is. This relates to everything and everyone. I could go on for hours and hours about this. I'm sick of people being really stupid. I wish some people in life could be inside my head for a day and see things how I see them and see what they think about that, if they can even think. I am in no way perfect by any means and I know it probably sounds like I think I'm 100% right, but I'm not saying my way is the right way, I'm saying actually come up with your own ways to think about things and USE IT rather than just acting on dumb impulses. THINK THINK THINK. Just stop and take a moment to see REALITY. I don't know...this makes no sense and I probably sound like a know it all.
3) I can't even talk about everything else I want to say after that because I'm just sooo frustrated with that whole idea.
I know people read this (sometimes) so I want to hear what you all think about "fate" and stupid idiots! The end.
Congrats
If you're made it this far, then you're worthy of being my friend. The end.
1 comment:
Let's see... I've updated my veiw on fate, and I don't believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, but once in a while I realize that it does. We haven't been talking much since graduation, however, trust me, some of the sucky stuff that's happened to me has definately happened for a reason. You just don't always see it at first. Make it through the hard times, and you do come out a stronger person.
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