desperation, devastation

Hey whores, what up?? Life sucks, ewww. Uhh let's recap my weekend/week so far, shall we??

Saturday, OF ALL DAYS, my mother decides she needs to go to Wal-Mart and that I will be driving her there. SATURDAY, aka the only day out of the whole week that someone is working. It was like a million degrees and my house (upstairs only) is like an oven so my hair was basically looking like poo. So anyway, we go to WM and shop on the "other side" and then my mom needs groceries (WTF) so we cross over to the "food side" aka right next to Suckway and people ahhhh. Umm I told her I didn't want to be seen in such a state (hair/hotness/ugly) so we had to be quick. Apparently my mother doesn't know the definition of quick because she decides to STOP in the middle of the aisle in a direct line of vision of Suckway. Fortunately I *thought* all the little workers were making sandwiches at the other side of the aisle where we couldn't be seen but nooooo. One particular male worker is RIGHT THERE looking right at my mother and I. FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! Whatever, not a big deal. HA. HA. HA. Everything is a big deal to me.

Next I went to Leola (again) to work for .392054 seconds with another girl named Jess who is GUESS WHAT?!?!??! A senior at Garden Spot High School...shockerrrr, who isn't these days?? It was boring and we had no customers and I was so glad I could leave. Umm I came home and "got ready" to go nowhere. Lindsay wanted to come with me to nowhere so we visited Monica and Rebekah (!!! haven't seen her in forever) and chatted away. Caught up on all the hot work gossip. Umm next we drove around, blahhh. I'm starting to get fed up with this whole ordeal. I'm not necessarily sick of driving around, because it is fun occasionally BUT I'm sick of doing that ALL THE TIME and doing nothing else. It's like 1) buy gas, 2) drive to far away place where there is nothing 3) talk about stupid stuff that we've already talked about 29340 times 4) laugh at how we're so retarded for driving around 5) decide to go home because it is "late" 6) ME = BORED TO DEATH ahhhhhhh. So I'm not saying my friends are boring, but COME ON GUYSSSSS what are we doing? I need to do STUFF not nothing. Oh and I need to make more friends because everyone is unavailable, blah.

Umm Sunday I worked and then guess what!!! I came home and...get ready this a huge shocker...I did nothing!!!!!!!!! Hard to believe, I know. I think I "took movies back to Blockbuster" aka took them back and then drove for miles. Home, nothing, sleep.

Monday aka yesterday was just fabulous. I woke up around 7am to get ready for volunteering and then drove to the hospital only to find out that no one else was volunteering I guess due to the holiday. I was slightly pissed because I had made a huge fuss about my work schedule and not being able to work Monday morning due to volunteering. Oh well, not a huge loss. I probably came home and watched stupid MTV shows like Next, haaa that show cracks me up. Watch it if you need a good laugh. Um next I realized I was majorly lacking music so I started listening to this radio thing online and did that all day. I also baked some thing for my mom...that took up an hour.

Around 7:30pm (approximately twelve hours of doing the same thing (literally), I showered and beautified myself (except my fucking hair which SUCKS in heat/humidity) and droveeeee a lot and listening to angry music because it was fitting. I drove "east" and tried to stay on main roads but somehow I got LOST and majorly freaked out. I was literally terrified and when it was all over and I found a road I knew my hands were like permanently attached to the steering wheel and I couldn't relax no matter what. I kept seeing things that weren't there and if a car came up behind me and tailgated (which was A LOT since I didn't know the road and wasn't going over the speed limit like everyone else) I was dying and thinking it was some serial killer who would surely run me off the road and chop me up in little peices and hide me in his trunk. OMGGGG. Umm I decided to keep it safe when I found Reading and to take 222 to WM to get some sort of beverage (for free haha). I stayed for a little to chat/laugh and then Monica and I "shopped" and then I took her home. THE END.

Today I woke up at 1pm (finally it was later than 10) and actually ate some food and then got ready for work. Work was funnnnnnny!!!! We had a lot of idiot old people that are retarded and act like they were never out of the house and don't know what anything is. Plus they MUMBLE which I can't fucking stand. I'm also deaf if you didn't know and I have to say what to like everything, as do they since they are OLD. Also my voice is not the strongest due to STILL coughing so this is how a general conversation with an old fag head customer would go:

Me: Hi, what can I get for you?
Fag Customer: Hiiiii!! Ummmmm... (stares at menu FOREVER)
Me: ..........................
FC: I'm not sure what I want yet, HAHAH!!
Me: Take your time!!! (eye roll when they're not looking)
FC: What is your regular sub?
Me: We have an Italian sub and an American sub which are considered the "regular subs".
FC: Ohhhh definitely the Italian! (saying it as if I should have known all along)
Me: What kind of bread would you like that on?
FC: Which one would you think that would be best with?
Me: It's whatever you want! (Smile/internal vomiting)
FC: Hmmmmmmm (stares at bread selection for hours)...I'll just go with the regular to make it easy for you! (OH MY FUCKING GOD it's already been 17 hours)
Me: Ok, would you like cheese on that?
FC: Oh, yes. (Looks at me like I should just be throwing cheese on it already)
Me: Which kind would you like?
FC: Which kinds do you have?
Me: American, Provolone, Swiss, Cheddar, and Mozzarella
FC: I'll take white. (JESUS FUCKING CHRIST they're pretty much ALL white)
Me: Which one?? The American??
FC: Ohhh no, the provolone.
Me: Would you like it toasted?
FC: Ohhh no, definitely not. I'm sharing with my husband and he HATES that, HAHAH!!!!
Me: Aww, haha! (WHO GIVES A SHIT) Would you like any mayonaise, mustard, or sauces. (At this point my voice is about a 7 on a scale of 1-10)
FC: I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.
Me. Mayo, Mustard, or sauces??
FC: What type of sauces do you have??
Me: Umm Rance, Southwest, Honey Mustard, Sweet On-
FC: Ohhh nevermind, yuck. I'll just have mayo, my husband hates all that other stuff HAH!
Me: Lettuce, tomato, onion?
FC: Yes. (I put on all three)
FC: OHHHH no onion, my husband and I can't eat onions or we'll have gas for dayssss. (or some other retarded reason that is definitely TOO MUCH INFORMATION)
Me: Ohh I'm sorry! (I take off the onions and move on) Pickles, peppers, or olives?
FC: Yes, all of that.
Me: (Puts on pickles and olives first) Which kind of peppers would you like?
FC: Hmmm which kind do you have?
Me: (Voice is about a 4 now) Sweet, banana, green, and jalapeno.
FC: Oh I didn't hear you, what kind?
Me: (Voice lacking yet I have to yell for granny to hear) SWEET, BANANA, GREEN, JALAPENO.
FC: Oh just sweet ones, LIGHTLY please.
Me: Did you want any seasonings or oil and vinegar on that?
FC: Oh yes, oil and oregano. (I'm about to cut it and wrap it) Oh could you throw some salt and pepper on it too??
Me: Sure!! (Meanwhile I'm holding this knife which could be dangerous at this point in the customer's life)
FC: Ohh sorry but my husband would complain if I forgot his salt and pepper HAHAH!
Me: (THAT'S NICE bitch, let's move on) Anything else?? (just to make sure)
FC: Oh no, that'll do it!
Me: Ok and would you like the meal deal with that?
FC: OHhh with that one? No meal deal, but I do have two others...(my voice drops to level 1 and Monica laughs on the sidelines but then comes to help)

At this point I'd have to go through all of that twice more, shoot me now. That is an extremeeeee example of a customer but it is soooo true. I hate old people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But anyway, back to the fun. After the idiots all left Monica and I got giggly and were talking about rating...things. We decided that tattoos add 7 and peircings add about 3, heehehehe. Also, we discussed computer paper (8.5 x 11 HAHAHAHA!!!) Nobody gets that but me and Mon. Ummm my glasses/hair/amazing shirts-wearing boy came in (the one that Monica STOLE from me before) and that was good also. Other randomly retarded things happened like...I can't even remember because I was laughing too hard. Oooohhhhhhh I remember, we were being bitches and talking about everyone we work with and stuff and right after/as we're about to say mor bitchy things, GREG BOND waltzes in and startles us. He's all like "Awwwww I'm sorry did I scare you guys, I'M SORRYY!!!" all bashful and red-faced/eyed. So we're kinda freaking out because we had shut the lights early and were goofing off a little. He seems unphased and starts talking to me about my illness and he's like "That suckssssss" ew he talks like some people type, ha, slow and drawwwwwnn outttt. Um next I go out in the front where he is and he's STILL interrogating me about our busy-ness/telling me a gay story about Josh at Leola. Then he starts talking about Leola and thanking me for helping out that "one" night so I tell him I'm closing there again this weekend and that I've been there twice and he offers gas money. I refuse. He begins to leave and turns and says "Bye Monica, see ya Jess. Oh and thanks again for all your help at Leola!! You're awesome!!!!" So I'm like "Thanks, bye" and then he adds "I love you, Jess!" What the fuck GREG BOND!?!? He just does that because he thinks I'm in love with him and that I'll run in the back and giggle because 'Ahhh!! He is just soooo dreamy! I'm especially loving the cut-off sleeves!" which I did but in an extremely sarcastic tone. Blahhh GB, I love you too.

I took Monica home to "see the new floor" (the excuse we told David/Dad) and I got to see my love Dawson!!!!!!!!! It's been forever, for real. He was shy at first but after stealing my car keys and molesting my chest he came out of the shell haha. Umm we chatted briefly on the sofa about stuff and looked at cool cars on the computer. Dad was listening to awesome German metal music (Ho knows what I'm talking about yo)!!!!! Next Monica was introduced to the fabulous world of Myspace and pictures of wonderful children we all know and love. Umm I definitely yelled "EEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!!" at this one picture and Dawson randomly echoes me and goes "EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" behind us, HAHAHAHAHA you had to be there. We vomited at other pictures and went AWWW at others, haha. Dawson molested me with keys and hands some more and then it was time to goooo because it was late. I said bye to my second family and left and here I sit at 2:30am. TIME FOR SLEEP.

Finals thoughts:
-Tomorrow life is boring so if anyone wants to do something, call please :)
-Thursday I'm free in the day and then in the evening I work with Monica and Heather...definitely bringing my computer so we can have music for once. Also, we're drinking frappucinos and stuff so yeah...visit us and witness the hyperness
-Friiiiiiiday was looking pretty boring but hopefully I can find someone to come to GUESS WHERE because GUESS WHY!!! It must be before 9pm and I must bring someone because going alone is definitely loser-ish. Also, our favorite (pshhh) worker is back and I'm sure some sarcastic and witty insults will be tossed back and forth between him and I (with laughs from the other two haha). This is not something that you'll wanna miss. I might even SPEAK.
-Saturday I get murdered by the Subway Bandit who I recently heard about in detail (thanks Lisa) so after that nothing matters
-I've decided to stop being an annoying loser and to back off...from now on I'm gonna do what I wanna do and not worry so much about everyone else because I'm pretty sure I waste more time worrying about other people more than they're worrying (or even caring) about me so whateverrrr
-Whore is officially the new word replacing all other derogatory names used in the past such as: bitch, (mother)fucker, dick, loser, retard, idiot, queer, crackhead, fag, etc.
-I hate hotness and summer like A LOT??

Buh bye!

P.S. Ni-New!!!!!!!!! (you wouldn't understand)