this never meant nothing to you

Ummmm hi? A lot has happened in life and this time I'm serious. Get ready for the most detailed description of the last week of my life.

So last Monday evening I was early for work for once in my life but not by choice. I wanted to shop shop shop for travel items but I was late for that, therefore I was early for work. I worked with Monica and we had fuuuunnn with all the WM boys. Lispy was there as well as others that I can't remember. JAMES came in early before Monica got there and I was like "DIE DIE HE'S WEARING GREEN!!!!" and it was fabulous. JAMES, wow. He's ugly. Lindsay Herr decided to come and shop with me after work and we shopped for eight years and we actually had to get a cart due to purchase overload. I bought practical travel items such as deoderant and hairspray while she bought 43 pairs of earrings, my influence obviously. Good times listening to the dumb "boys" that work there late at night putting cereal boxes on the shelves. We had a nice chat with the lunch lady, OMG I forgot about her and how much I love her and how much she loves us!!!! Remember when she cried on the last day of school because we were leaving??? OMGGGG she is the sweetest lady on Earth. Sweet as in nice and kind, not as in "Sweet, dude!" I think we saw celebrity boys from bands from the internet wearing camo pants and having peircings and amazing hair and stuff. Who could that be? It was a good last night at WM before the big trip to C-H-I-C-A-G-O. It was pouring rain but nevertheless Lindsay and I were bored to tears and WIDE AWAKE due to extreme candy consumption. After explaining how fantastic my drive to the dirty Susquehanna river the day before had been, we decided to go. At 1am. So we went and it was raining and scary and we hydroplaned a lot. My life flashed before my eyes at least 6 times throughout the whole night. We saw famous celebrity photo spots from the pictures on my phone and tried to take more but failed. Lindsay still doesn't know left from right. We went on the scariest fucking road EVER. Even more scary than CORN and SILOS and REAMSTOWN. It's like nothing I've ever seen before. Plus there was an insane amount of fog everwhere and Lindsay was driving off the road and I was screaming. Basically we were in the middle of NOWHERE listening to Action Action (calming) and seeing ghosts (horrifying) and screaming (normal, for me). I got home late, Mom yelled, NEXT DAY...

Tuesday was fascinating. I took Mother Dearest to the doc and then I can't really remember much of anything else. I suppose I packed a little for Chicago and then late in the evening I drove to Michael's house for an evening of movies and television, fun. Oh and also the name is uncapitalized, in case you didn't notice. Only people such as JAMES and STEVE and JEREMY (Rainbow Brite) are capitalized because there is the non-knowing factor. That factor does not exist with Michael, hahahaha. MOVING ON, movies, tv, etc etc. I stopped by Lindsay's house on the way home to "chat" about things and stayed until the wee hours of the morning. My mom thought I died in a car crash but nope, I was still alive so I went home and got yelled at. I packed, I didn't sleep, I woke up.

CHICAGOOOOOOO!!!!! So I got up ON TIME, packed everything, blah blah blah. I didn't even forget a single thing! I don't think...I picked Lindsay up and we put her stuff in the car. Along with my stuff, there was definitely not going to be enough room for Erin's stuff, HAHA we packed our whole lives. Erin rearranged everything and then we started driving/eating/listening to music. We all drove and split up the time pretty evenly. It was scary having someone else drive my car, yet relaxing to not drive and be able to be in control of the music. EIGHTIES! We listened to pretty much every single CD I own. Nothing too exciting happened on the trip there except for surveys taken on Lindsay's laptop by me (HAHAHAHA) and us eating these long, cylinder-shaped cake things and being perverted, driving in fog and through like 5 tunnels and me screaming a lot and being excited about water. We passed both H-Burg and P-Burg and that was only during the first five hours of the trip!!! Ohio = gayest state in the US. I'd shoot myself if I lived there for real yo. In Indiana, I believe, we were hungry and bought the most disgusting food ever created by man. It was some shitty Hardee's or whatever, which by the way the only cool thing about that place is the symbol which is the cutest little star with a happy face. He must not eat the food there because we all pretty much gagged on it. Just thinking about it makes me feel like vomiting. The lady there was like a broken record and there was a midget that kept popping up from below the counter, HAHAHAHAH. Good times with my friends. OMG eventually we made it into the general Chicago area. It felt good to finally see normal sights such as strip malls and other cars. As we neared the big C I got super excited as usual and chose amazing music to listen to.

AHHHHHHH Chicago is just fabulous. Truly amazing. Glorious. Heavenly. Gorgeous. I'm pretty sure as soon as I saw the skyline I was kind of blown away. It was way way way way bigger and better than I expected. Everything about the trip was, to be honest. We got lost a little but Erin didn't kill us, thank God. We made it to the apartment!! Ohhhh it was sooooo cool. We lugged all our shit into the building and it was cool. Everything was cool. Her apartment was directly across from the John Hancock building aka right in the action of everything aka shopping and stores and stuff everywhere. Ahhhh I wish I lived there. I'm not gonna lie, I'm more than a little jealous of Erin. We decided to go out and explore a little, aka going to the grocery store and I forget what else. Oh yeah, food. Even the grocery stores there are sophisticated. We saw lovely manly men and ahhh die it was good. And this was just the grocery store. We went to eat at some restaurant and sadly I felt like I was gonna puke but it wasn't bad, I was still in vomit mode from "Hardees" aka "Pukees" or whatever. There was a Hot Hot Heat lookalike directly behind Lindsay. Back at the apartment we watched Wicker Park (get in, we were in Chicago??) and drooled over JH's beautiful/sexy/hot/perfect face. Sleep. Also, STEEEEEAAAAAMMMMMMM ROOOOLLLLLLLERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (you had to be there).

On Thursday we shopped. Erin took us to some cool stores, but B&N was by far the best. It just cannot be topped. We went to some expensive ones just for fun like Anthropologie. Earrings there = $50. We ate good food again at some bakery place. I bought a $34 scarf in Urban Outfitters and stood in line behind a lady with dogs and were attacking me becuause I was holding a bag of leftovers. Erin was mistaken for mannequin, HAHAHAHA. I bought more earrings in H&M that are just fantastic and they even go with red! More shopping and fun. We went to one of my all-time favorites VIRGIN ahhhh love it there. Books, music, movies, life. This is where I saw one of the lovely BOYS of the trip, named black shirt/cool haired Virgin Megastore worker boy. He was pretty hot like SMOKING hot and ahhh I didn't want to leave that store ever. I bought three CDs and cried when we had to go. More hot boys in the Apple store, can I got back pleeeeeeease????? Simply...awesome (from that song that no one probably remembers except me because it's eighties).

NEXT, we decided to travel to the movies and see whatever was playing which was like nothing. We bought tickets for a later show, got food, bought candy for the movie and then went back. Rumor Has It...that's what we saw. We also saw some guy's PENIS. Not in the movie. In the movie theater. On the sidelines. I got a nudge in the arm and OMG funniest thing EVER. I pretty much crack up just thinking about it. It was definitely marionette-like. The guy must've had some sort of complex contraption hooked up to it because I...I have no words for it. It was like...DANCING. OMGGOMGGOMMMMMOMG I'm cryinglaughing just remembering it. No one else will understand this except for Lindsay Herr, E-Bizzle (who says it was a hand), and myself. I never knew...that it was possible for that kind of movement. OH MY. I'm not saying anything else about this because the mental image I have in my head will stay with me for life and there's no need to get carried away with descriptions. I think except for the first night in Chicago, none of us went to sleep earlier than 3am. We talked about pretty much everything in life and read Conversationally Speaking, a fab book about conversing with others and not being shy. We also analyzed our faces with Lindsay's make up books. I learned a lot about myself after having so many mature (and also quite a few non-mature) conversations. We talked about life and school, and life and Chicago and life and high school and college and ourselves and like everything. My friends are definitely cooler than others, such as say...Erin's roommates. From Nebraska. Who talk like "I'm from Nebraaaaaska and I talk like thiiiiiiis, and my sentences are drawn ouuuuut and I have a weird acceeeeeent and Lindsay can imitate my voice really gooooooooood. It's totally cool if you guys wanna watch tvvvvvvv!!" I'm rolling my eyes. Sooo um everything about our first official day in Chicago screams "NEVER LEAVE, STAY FOR LIFE" and I'm crying now thinking about it. Once again, good times with good friends. Steaaaaam Rollllllerrrr, enough said.

Friday = Chinese people and things named "Fok" and "Mi Wang" and stuff. Sum Ting Wong. I'm a Rabbit by the way. I got my picture taken in a false pagoda and it ruled. We had Chinese food and I've never seen so much in my entire life. They gave us like 6 more egg rolls than ordered and it was just INSANE. We rode the subway and it was neato and clean unline NY and Philly. I could actually touch the handles and stuff. After Chinese people/food/pagodas/astrology we went to this ginormous library and went to the top and I saw a lot of books. I think we were like "downtown" as opposed to Erin's place which was like "uptown". If I'm wrong, correct me please. We were near the big buildings basically, aka the Sears Tower. Erin deserted us and went to her school and Lindsay and I wanted to be HIGH so we went up to the 99th floor of the ST and it was pretty much the coolest thing ever. I was searched by an old Jamaican man who said "PUT YA AHHHRMS OHHHUT ANGEL STYAAYYLLE" and it was the highlight. He told me to give him a call later, hehe old black men. We got our retarded picture taken and watched a retarded movie about Chicago with a bunch of other poople including a spitting image of COWDOG, hat and scarf included. I must say, he was sophisticated and CLOSE to us in the crowded elevator. We stalked him at the top of the building until he went back down and we found other boys to stalk. One in particular as like amazingly beautiful as in Ron Weasly looking except with a curly ponytail and a hat and nice rosy cheeks. They were like dorks but soooo cool and they smelled fab too. We ALMOST snuck a picture of them but I was too chicken. OH OH, the view of Chicago from up there was good too. FABULOUS to be exact. I like high things like that. I saw lights and Target and highways and traffic. We also made a friend from Louisiana, some older guy there was his family. Pretty much the Sears Tower was incredibly amazing and I wanted to follow those boys. We saw Erin's school and I was impressed. It's all artsy and cool but the library was closed. STARBUCKS, bus rides, phone calls to boys, fun times.

Next Erin talked to her one friend from church, Madeline I believe and she was having a small intimate get-together at her house in the far north part of Chicago. We decided to attend with E-Bizzle and SURPRISE I had a lot of fun. I decided I like older people better than people my age. I have a fear of people the same age and I honestly don't know why. But yeah we played board games and stupid stuff like that but I really had fun. It didn't hurt that there was a JEROME lookalike seated directly beside me with AQUAMARINE eyes and he gave me high fives and was on my team (along with would-be-a-drunkard-if-he-wasn't-a-good-church-guy Brian and i'm-in-my-late-twenties-and-haven't-had-sex-yet-and-i-love-to-hit-on-girls-ten-years-younger-than-me-but-it's-not-creepy-because-i'm-really-just-a-lonely-nice-guy Dave). I hate immature people that think they have to be DRUNK to have a good time. Let's be real...honestly. Ahhh the Jerome guy, who I think was named Dustin was actually HOT and NICE wow. Also, I learned what a flying butress is, so now I'm smarter than you. It may have been a corny time but I will say loudly and proudly I had a really fun time and I liked meeting new people and I was even brave and asked the Dave person (who drove us back to Erin's apartment) what kind of music he liked and blah blah. We did make Lindsay sit with him alone in the front but it was BY ACCIDENT (for real) and it turned out he was currently in love with the Killers as of last week (ME TOO since last year though) and we all listened to great songs and drove in Chicago. I'll never hear those songs the same way again. It was memorable in many ways. I'll never see those people again crycrcyrccrywahhhhhhhh. Another late night of talking about cool and funny and serious and DEEP stuff, man, hahahahaha yeah right. I was a little hot all day due to constantly wearing a scarf, HA.

Ummm the next day was Saturday and we slept super late and stuff as usual. We finally took a bus to the Field Museum and Erin left us alone for the rest of the day, which was interesting. The museum was closing down for the day so we just went to the gift store which was very nice and I bought a change purse and earrings that are fabulous. We saw a boy there as well who was like a good-looking combination of Michael Jackson and John Walton. Wow, that's a horrible description, but definitely true. We rode the most crowded bus ever on the way back to Erin's aparment, for real. We were like sardines and we were reminded not to gamble a lot. Don't ask. Umm we rested for 5 seconds and then went back out and kinda roamed around the city aimlessly looking for boots, haha. We bought a lotta stuff in the Body Shop and it was fun. I actualy bought stuff I'll use and spent money, FUN. We saw water and took pictures of flying butresses and stuff. Also, we sat in both Starbucks and B&N talking about random things FOREVER. We read The Naked Roommate and I learned A LOT about...interesting stuff that I never knew before about people and college and life. After that we didn't know where to go so we went back but were distracted by THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY. I hate to talk about how cool it was there since it's just a restaurant and I'm sure there are other things in Chicago that are better, but OH MY GOD it was the coolest place ever. It was jam packed and really expensive and stuff like that, straight out of a movie. We got these awesome smoothies that looked alcoholic and awesome garnished with orange and lime slices and were sooo good. Chicken = good. Food good in general there. Must go back. If I had to rate it on a scale of 1-10 it was like a 79,034 and the cheesecake is like infinity. After this, we met up with Erin again and as she went to bed Lindsay and I stayed awake all night trying to remember what happened the summer before 11th grade, which we never found out. It remains a mystery to this day. I never bought boots either, tear tear I wanted them really bad.

On Sunday we got up and got ready to LEAVE, I almost cried at least a thousand times. We made the most out of it I guess. Erin tried to steal our cheesecake but we took it anyway. I paid a million dollars for the parking garage and Erin left before I got to say bye and thanks and all that. Lindsay and I finally LEFT FOR GOOD. There are tears in my eyes RIGHT NOW. It was probably the most fun I've had in a long time. I wasn't bored once and I wish we couldn't stayed at least a few more days. I hate work and reality. Goshhhhh. You don't understanddddd, I was so excited and happy there and it is OVER. For example, me at home or in public at home = calm non-attention recieving usually quiet person. Me in Chicago late at night after shopping, and movies, and meeting people = me running (I know) and being really loud and wanted to hug everyone and ahhhhhhhhhh. I'm sure Lindsay and Erin could tell me frolicking around the streets late at night was not normal. This was because I was EXCITED. Now I'm back into reality and while it is a little more exciting than it used to be, I feel like CHICAGO or some other random city is missing from the picture. So yeah the ride back was hell and long and we both drove a lot. Nineties (that doesn't look spelled right hahahaha) music helped me through though. A tear falls from the eyes of all who were involved in this memorable trip. Steam rollers, penises in the movie theaters, hot boys in stores, earrings, coffee, buildings, boys again, cheesecake, cool apartments. I MISS IT ALL. I LOVED EVERY MOMENT. We WILL go back, by the way.

I'm done talking about Chicago I think. Monday was unpacking and stuff from the love of my life Chicago (tears are falling). After all that stuff I picked up Michael (non-capitalized) and he met my retarded mother and then we went to the movies to see the sickest movie in the history of my life. It was good though. We also watched Eurotrip and it was funny. I had "fun" for real. Fun is just in quotes because of hilarious things that cannot be mentioned. I love how I write like 17 paragraphs about every detail no one cares about and then I write a few lines about this. I'm unable to share except to like 2 other people. Maybe one. Feel special, because I'm incapable of saying anything to anyone else, even if it is annoying which I know it is. LO SIENTO. (ADONDE FUISTE??????? ahh sorry yet another joke from Chicago).

Today = nails (bright pinkish red aka HOT and BRIGHT) and then work. Work was dead and hilarous, even though Monica wasn't there. I worked with other cool folks though. I kinda want to quit but I'm attached to the people and the flexibility of my boss. I wish I could just change the job description, then it would be perfect. Nothing is perfect. THE END.

P.S. I'm losing my voice from talking so much and please excuse all bad things and typos. Thanks again.